Positively? And, even with this sign up, I’m still gonna play with my balls where ever I damn well choose.
This guy really likes e.
The weatherman’s job in Kona must be extremely difficult.
Drunk on something though.
Just got a text from some number I don’t know.
I love that whoever they think I am, they found the need to tell them this fun fact about the effects of their drug/alcohol use this morning after months of absolutely no contact.
Thought about responding, but I don’t want to wake them up, ya know?
Re: My previous post
I assumed a “pantologist” was one who studies pants; but apparently, I was wrong.
Pantology is actually, “A systematic view of all branches of human knowledge; a work of universal information.”
Fuck it. Those people seem qualified to improve pants, too. Maybe even more so than the guys I pictured: in white lab coats, looking at Levi’s and Dockers under a microscope.
Pants are inefficient
Everything else has been tweaked to make things easier. But taking a shit is still difficult, because you have to pull your pants all the way down. You have to undo the belt, unzip or unbutton the fly, and then lower those things, which can be a nightmare for people in a wet-floored bathroom stall or for people who wear skinny jeans (I assume).
Just as there’s a way to take your dick out of your underwear while pissing, we need a way to make this happen for shitting.
I don’t know how to go about inventing this; I’m no pantologist.
So get on this, fashion designers. Stop doing coke and imagining models walking down runways in tin can shoes and do something productive.
Draw Something at dinner.
Twitter is apparently opening up its own restaurant in the Village.
Keating Thomas is a writer and standup based in Brooklyn, NY.
