January 2012
37 posts
My Oscar Predictions
BEST PICTURE
“Money Pitt” (the one with Angelina Jolie’s husband and Tom Hanks about baseball)
BEST ACTRESS
Kirsten Dunst (for the one about the end of the world; I think it’s called “My Dinner with Kirsten”)
BEST ACTOR
Sean Penn in “The Tree of Life” (for actually admitting it was a stupid movie)
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Jonah...
He's an American
His pants were made in El Salvador. His shoes in Turkey. His underwear in Bangladesh. His appliances in China. His car was designed by the Japanese, but assembled in Canada. His house is cleaned by Guatemalans. And his yard kept up by Mexicans.
Yet he’s not worldly.
Friggatriskaidekaphobia
The fear of Friday the 13th is called “friggatriskaidekaphobia.” And it’s friggin’ stupid. But according to the Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute in Asheville, N.C., an estimated 17 to 21 million people in the United States fear this day. Some people are so paralyzed by fear that they avoid their normal routines: doing business, taking flights, getting out of...
Non-prophet organization
Just read a poll that ranked the favorable religions.
It listed Mormons, Muslims and atheists at the bottom.
Atheism isn’t a religion; it’s the exact opposite. That’s like saying that anarchy is the least favorable form of government.
Rodent's The Thinker
In every movie or television show where there’s an anthropomorphic mouse, he always tires to evade the bloodthirsty and stupid cat, while peaking his head out of his chewed-away archway in the wall.
Now, that’s the part that I’ve been thinking about: this archetypal archway in the wall. At some point in the story, the clueless human character who owns the house or apartment...
Hollywon't
Here’s an excerpt from an Associated Press article I just read about 2012 movies: “More Batman with ‘The Dark Knight Rises.’ More Peter Parker with ‘The Amazing Spider-Man.’ More short guys on a quest with ‘The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.’ More vamps and werewolves with ‘The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2.’ More cool sunglasses...
Summer Eyes
[by Keating Thomas]
—
I hope I’ll practice what I preach
But like Shoeless Joe, I’m in blackened white socks
Trying to soak them in bleach
Praying to the God of Clorox
—
I don’t want to peak early
Like ancient volcanoes or the Challenger
Or that mocking Girl Scout Harper Lee
And that holdin’ recluse J.D. Salinger
—
The white flowers...
8 Things I've Done You Probably Haven't
Ran across the Paris Métro tracks, scaling the third rail, in order to barely make ringing in the New Year under the Eiffel Tower.
Watched endangered California Condors (only 181 left in the wild) mate 20 feet from me in the Grand Canyon. It’s shocking, because they’re bald. But, hey, that’s why they call them scavengers, right?
Baseball-related: Visited 22 MLB baseball...
Cans & Bottles
Just walked by a bottle and can recycle station. A bum had ten huge garbage bags filled with bottles and cans. I’m sure it was because of New Year’s Eve. Bums must love drinking holidays. Dollar signs must cha-ching over their eyes.
I was thinking, what other holidays do they know will be a cash cow for them from people binge drinking? St. Patrick’s Day?
Definitely not my...
