This woman has green hair, green clothes, green shoes, a green backpack, and probably a black soul.
Ad’s message: If you wear jewelry, you’ll be able to have a happy family. So buy our shit now or die alone.
Walked by this on my way home. I personally prefer Fudd, even though it allegedly made all those hillbillies go blind.
For all of my stalkers who wonder what I actually look like. Just kidding, I have none. Except you, Clara. Get some help. Seriously.
This guy has inspired me to name my indie band “Big Fat Pigeon and the Fire Escapes.”
And, with that, the final pay phone left in the world has died.
This will be my go-to public toilet from now on.
Joke opportunities are like bubbles, lingering in the air, waiting to be popped by a jokester. You can just hear something and say, “There’s got to be a joke in there somewhere.” You can tell it’s just ripe to be twisted. That’s the bubble.
When I was younger, my dad would always say that. “There’s a joke in there somewhere.” Then it became just a look up toward the sky and a snapping of the fingers, like you’re trying to remember an old classmate’s name. And it’s always a race to see who can bust the bubble first.
I remember one particular example of this. My dad and I were going through security at the airport, when he pointed at a sign that read, “PLEASE REMOVE YOUR LAPTOP AND PLACE ON BELT.” Gesturing toward it, he snapped his fingers, looking at me.
The race was on.
I quickly said: “Please remove your belt so we can see your laptop?”
My dad shouted, “Yes! There it is! Dammit!” And I’m sure everyone else in line thought he spotted a terrorist or something.
Ironic how if you can’t afford to fly, you have to take Peter Pan.
This guy is a badass.
Created the Hotmail account WhyDoYouStillUseThis@hotmail.com and I’m sending threatening emails to my Hotmail-user friends.
They changed this sign so it wouldn’t read “HUMP.” Yeah, that’ll prevent teen pregnancy.