Childhood dreams

Just found my journal from when I was 10 with a list of all the professions I dreamed of possibly becoming. Here’s a list of them all, with the reality below.

Childhood dream: Astronaut
Reality: Space cadet

Childhood dream: Baseball player
Reality: D-League softball player

Childhood dream: A spy in the Soviet Union
Reality: A tourist in Russia

Childhood dream: A solider in the Army
Reality: Cammo shorts

Childhood dream: Pilot
Reality: Drunk

Childhood dream: Deep sea explorer
Reality: Follow James Cameron’s exploits

Childhood dream: Late-night talk show host
Reality: Day-time talk show host

Childhood dream: Ship captain
Reality: Food poisoning on a Carnival Cruise

Childhood dream: Rocket scientist
Reality: Worked at Johnny Rockets

Childhood dream: Burt Reynolds mustache
Reality: John Waters mustache

Childhood dream: Rockstar
Reality: Guitar Hero

Childhood dream: Writer
Reality: Authored dildo instruction manual

Childhood dream: Teacher
Reality: Authored dildo instruction manual

Childhood dream: Civil Rights activist
Reality: Racist

Childhood dream: Brain surgeon
Reality: Labotomy

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